When I first met them I thought it was a one night thing. Then we got close and I didn’t think I was falling for him. I was having trouble with work and my only emotional attachment to the city I was in was him. I thought if we ended it all i could just leave and go back to a life that no longer exists.

I was horrible to him – I called him ugly, belittled him and constantly told him he was a freak.

I didn’t mean to – I didn’t see him as my equal when in fact he was my superior. Now I look at myself and I see an ugly failure.

I can’t stop texting him out of love and guilt. He was a breath of fresh air in a life I devoted my attention to in all the wrong areas.

I really think this was my last chance and that the rest of my life will be bitter when I had sweetness I was to blind to see.

This isn’t going to get him back but I hope the universe will forgive me. I guess I have to try and forgive myself. I will always love you Andy.