Hey Anita,

Thanks for your thoughtful insight. I think you have some valid points. I have been to counseling on and off and have never really found it to be much help. Finding the right person is essential and that hasn’t been easy. I’ve found most of the therapists I’ve seen have a theory about why you have the problems you have before they even know the whole story and then try to frame everything to fit that – always focusing on that and possibly missing other important stuff in the process. Either that or they don’t really do anything but listen blankly.

Growing up, I actually did have a relationship with my bio dad. He got together with his partner when I was very young and they had an awful break up about 3 years ago. Even though I was only with them every other weekend, they created a very stable and loving home for me. Also probably showed me what a loving relationship looks like since I did not have that example from my mom. Even though that was the case, the fact he is gay was difficult for me growing up as I attended a small Lutheran school and felt constantly like there was something wrong with me because I had this “sinful” secret in my family. Once I entered public high school I grew to embrace it until it eventually became a non-issue, but I struggled greatly with it early on.

I think you have given me a lot to think on, and I appreciate that. I knew some of my struggles could probably be traced to my mom but wasn’t really sure how other than that she was my main role model and example of what is “normal”. Never really thought of it like you have laid out for me. I hope to hear from you again.

Katie