Dear Nina:

So phony people in your experience, and I am using my words here (let me know if I am correct, are people who negatively criticize others, make fun of others, mock others for their jobs, economic status, looks, national origin, religion, accent, mannerisms.

It is important to not look down at people for these things or for anything at all. There is no reason whatsoever to ever make fun of anyone. For any reason.

And it is what people do to feel better about themselves, giving their inner critic a break by directing it at others. The Outer Critic is the opposite side of the same coin: one side is the inner critic, the other- the outer critic.

The word phony makes sense to me in the context of people behaving as if they like you when you are present and then criticizing you behind your back- that is phony, insincere. One way I figure who is likely to do that is if that person gossips and makes fun of a third person to me. Then I know it is only a matter of time before it is my turn: before I am the subject of that person’s gossip and ridicule.

anita