Hi dreaming715 –

I’ve been remiss in following this conversation, but catching up now I find it fascinating how much your experiences have been very similar to mine. Most of my “relationships,” if you can even call them that, dissipate after a month or two as well. I discovered a book that totally opened my eyes to what I was doing wrong – well, not necessarily “wrong”, but how I’ve been wired differently which in turn affects dating. The book is Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love (by Heller/Levine). If you’re not familiar with attachment theory, which I wasn’t before reading this book, it’s well worth a read. This book gave me hope that I won’t end up alone forever, and it gave me tangible ideas and concepts to get myself to a better place of security when dating.

PS I also struggle with having friends who are unable to fit me into their busy/married lives, and I often find myself going to events alone. I’ve tried joining meetup groups in an attempt to make more single friends I can hang out and do fun stuff with (so I’d feel less desperate about not having a partner), but I really wish there were more singles support groups out there! While alone time is great and important, being a part of a community in times like these is really key, too.

Much love,
T