@anita:

So we had the conversation. (=
At first it was hard because I was about to cry and wasn’t too sure of how to word things, but he gave me a hug which calmed me down enough so that we could talk about it more. With time I managed to tell him that the trouble I was having was that my mind was using logic while my heart was having a hard time grasping the idea that it was a good idea to just date for fun when I had no hope of a future for us, what with our long-term goals being different.

He ended up telling me that he knew he cared for me a lot now, and he knew he would still care for me just as much- or even more- in the coming months. He basically said that the way he sees it, there’s still a pretty good chance that his mind could be easily changed, which would mean that he thinks there’s plenty of hope. In the end he said it was my decision to make but I needed to listen to what my first thoughts were telling me, so I ended up with this:
I am not ready to call it quits with the relationship. He still means a lot to me, and while my heart might fear that there’s no hope, letting go of him would feel like an even bigger mistake than trying to stay. He’s not going to message me tomorrow until right before bed, where he has requested that I give him my ultimate decision about the whole thing.

I think my emotions are acting out of a place of fear rather than joy, and that’s not something I want to do in my life… if I decide to leave him just on the fear that there’s no hope left for us, then we ruin what could potentially be hundreds of good memories just around the corner. I think maybe with how little we’ve seen each other this month, maybe not seeing him gave me too much time to stretch my emotion. Not spending time with him let me feel even more distant than I normally would, because the moment I saw him today, I was happy being with him just as much as I am whenever we hang out.

Basically I’m trying to reach a compromise between my head and my heart, because if I go strictly with my head, my emotions will keep bothering me, but if I listen solely to my heart, I might drown out some obvious things around me because of how emotional I can become. Instead of picking either one, I’m hoping to find a logical but reasonable solution that will satisfy both sides. I just hope that my feelings can start to turn around from here. But I’m very glad with how the conversation turned out… he wasn’t mad at all, if only a bit scared I was breaking up with him, but he felt relieved I think when he finally knew what was bothering me. He’s willing to work on it with me for the better and he’s not trying to force me to stay, either.

In the end I think things will get better from here… I think I’ll be able to find a solution, and if we agree on it, then that’s that.
Thank you so much for your help in all of this, I really appreciate it!

-Isra