Dear XenopusTex:

The way I understand you and the situation is that you are already invested, and have been invested for all your adult life, in NOT being in an intimate relationship with another person. The purpose of this investment is not to be hurt, not to be vulnerable to another and so, not to give another the opportunity to hurt you.

So you are already invested in this very potential relationship, with this woman, in rejecting it: she is too short. She has a daughter. She is not ideal. She is in the process of getting a divorce (but separated).

Sure the latter is not ideal and the former is neither, at this point. But nothing is ideal. We don’t live in an ideal world.

You are invested in destroying this potential relationship while it is still in its infancy. You are gathering evidence, in the process of… prosecuting this potential relationship, declaring it a no-go.

I am just saying, this is what I believe is going on. Part of you want a relationship with a woman, a SO. Part of you does not. Pay attention to the latter as you proceed with the former.

anita