Anita: I liked your advice: “You have to participate in the driving. So back to the conversation you quoted, you could have told him how you felt about him instead of asking him first what he feels. You could tell him what your intentions for the relationship are instead of asking him for his intentions first. You could ask for his intentions and let him know his answer does matter to you because what you want in the relationship matters. Before you give up on this one, why not practice this new behavior?”

Katie: You said, “And perhaps Anita is right – if you think he has potential to be the sort of partner that you want and if you really do *like* him, maybe try to be more assertive with what you want.”

So you are both recommending that I don’t throw in the towel and instead take this as an opportunity to practice more assertive behavior. Being a “co-driver” and not sitting back passively. I like this idea, although I have to admit it’s a little challenging right now because he’s still in the hospital due to the (successful) surgery he had yesterday. He can’t leave for two more days.

It’s interesting because I can sense his boredom over social media. He’s at a hospital in another state (so he doesn’t have an abundance of visitors besides immediate family). I’ve seen him posting things on social media, “liking” things, etc… Yet, he has not initiated ANY conversation with me besides the bare minimum of the logistics of what’s happening with his surgery, when he’ll be able to leave, etc…

If I were in his shoes, I would probably be thinking about throughout the day. I’d find comfort in texting him. It would ease the boredom and cheer me up. He has not once initiated conversation. Not even, “How is your week going?” While I believe this is an appropriate time for him to focus on his needs, I find it a little peculiar that he’s so comfortable easing his boredom on social media, yet not communicating with me. Not a good sign. I thought we were supposed to be “dating,” and this does not currently even feel like a friendship.

I feel very sad about this because I’ve grown to care about him and it’s apparent that he’s indifferent to my few attempts to reach out, tell him I’m here if he needs anything, etc. I feel sad and rejected.