I just realized that something didn’t make sense. If I truly disdained people, then why do I feel so lonely being single?

Spent several years telling myself and others that I just wasn’t a people person. That I am not that big on kids, etc. Hiding from interactions, etc.

this cognitive dissonance is adding more stress to my life than work is. Watching folks recently, to include many types of couples, had led me to believe that the problem is with me and how I react to things. Heck, I have kind of softened my outlook on kids.

My reactions and thought processes have kind of been ingrained for decades. Have kind of become a bitter grouchy person. A greying 38 year old, with a frown lines face, and minimal friends. I am tired of being that person.

I truly think that I could offer someone love, empathy, etc. but how do I convince someone of that? Or, better yet, how do I really convince myself?