Hey Anita,
I forgot to disclaim that I am diagnosed with severe ADD. Like many who suffer, I often act on impulse/ heightened emotions ALL OF THE TIME.

My current relationship is pretty good. However I have not been able to talk to my partner about my mental illnesses, without feeling judged, crazy, or misunderstood.
In the past I’ve tried to talk through my emotions and feelings of helplessness with him but it was a very one sided conversation.
He didn’t understand at all, and just said sorry that I was upset. End of conversation.

It was a total failure in communication.

I feel because he doesn’t understand how my brain works, he doesn’t really know what to say or how to ‘help’ get through relationship issues or talk to me when I’m upset.

He could also be emotionally inept, I’ve heard from his sister that their father also showed this type of emotional distance.

So to answer your questions I would say he doesn’t exactly know how to validate in this relationship.
And when I do receive some type of validation, it’s through his actions and not verbal communication.