Dear neng:

From my reading, your chances of getting him back don’t look good. He sounds definite in his decision to not re-start the relationship. If you know him as a man who follows through with his decisions, then you can expect him to follow through with this decision.

For a whole year the two of you spent an average of 6 hours a day communicating online? If so, this is a whole lot and it puzzles me. It may be that he felt safe communicating with you online because it was not in person. He may have felt comfortable on FaceTime but not in person.

So he had his eight year old daughter when he was 57? Maybe at 65 he is not as energetic as he was younger and interacting with an 8 year old takes a lot of energy. Then on top of it, you being there, competing with his attention to his daughter was too much of a strain for him.

It is also not a good idea for the relationship to continue if you do compete with his daughter. His daughter is very young and needs his attention. It is not the right thing to do, to discourage a father from attending to his daughter.

It is better for you to be involved with a man who does not have minor children, a man who is not involved with minor children in a father or a grandfather role.

Your thoughts…?

anita