Your post could have been about me, because it resonates on many levels (except the one about my birthday coming up soon).

I’m not telling you to get her a card or send the earrings, but know that sometimes, people genuinely don’t realize what they’re doing wrong in a relationship. Maybe it was the way she was raised, as it was with me, to never know what a healthy relationship is. Obviously lying about someone is not acceptable behavior, and we’re all responsible for our own, but falling in love can be an overwhelming thing for those who’ve never truly experienced it before. If we have trust issues to boot, it only makes us more confused.

I think you did the right thing for yourself (and maybe her) in walking away. I’m not attempting to justify her behavior, but sometimes experiencing the loss of someone is the only thing that can jerk you into the reality of what you’re doing wrong. It happened to me. While I knew him, I was listening to all the wrong people, letting their projections in, and consequently was unable to do the same with him. I wasn’t able to rise above the opinions of the people around me and express what I truly wanted after the initial “glow”. My heart, head, and body weren’t in alignment and as a result, every relationship I had suffered, including the one I cared about most.

He’s gone now, and while I don’t expect I’ll ever see him again, the loss made me realize the kind of person I wasn’t, and the kind I want to be. My life is on a completely different track, and although it’s still bittersweet, I’m more myself than ever before. But maybe it can be different with you two.

Maybe you’ll find one another again, or for the first time, someday. Even if you decide not to see her again, it’s possible to love someone from a distance.