Dear pinkiepops:

Having had OCD since I was five or six, I may understand your predicament. It was interesting to me recently when I learned that OCDs are labeled by the nature of the obsession, and yours is ROCD, Relationship OCD. This is why being single you had a relief from ROCD.

People’s OCDs, that is the topic of obsession, changes. Sometimes OCD is .. gone and anxiety is expressed some other way. Anxiety, that is, excessive, ongoing fear is in the core of OCD as well as many diagnoses, probably most.

Your fear is nesting at the moment where it is. Have you been in therapy for OCD/ anxiety? Medication? Are you in the practice of relaxation techniques, such as breathing, meditation/ mindfulness, yoga, exercise…? Such practice before you leave to the U.S and during your stay there can help, as in the core of OCD, there is anxiety. Keep yourself calm, and the OCD will weaken.

The key is to not panic when you have a thought. The key in OCD is to disengage from the thought and observe it from a calm place. Once you have a thought, don’t drown in it. Instead, breathe deeply, in and out, imagine a calming scenery and watch the thought drift through your scenery like a cloud in the sky. Here it is and there it is gone. There are such guided meditations, observing thoughts pass by. You may want to download such and take those with you on your travel.

Does your boyfriend know about your ROCD? Your predicament about going to the U.S? If you explain it to him he may cooperate with you and break up just for the purpose of your travel. Then re-unite when you are back.

If you want to back up your explanation to him, about ROCD, you can google Psych Forums, there click OCD and you will see posts regarding ROCD. You can share some of these with him so he can understand that indeed (like other young people share there), you are not planning on dating anyone in the U.S. You are experiencing an “intrusive thought” about dating someone. Not different than this common obsession in OCD sufferers: thinking after driving that one ran over a person on the road even though it didn’t happen. Often the person drives back and checks, even though nothing happened. The thought of having driven over someone is an intrusive thought not based on reality just like your thought about dating someone in the U.S.

anita