Dear indie:

Like I have been, you are dissociated. Other terms: depersonalization. If you haven’t so far, you can google these terms. It is the brain shutting down best it can because it was overwhelmed with fear and hurt. Psychotherapy with a competent, empathetic therapist is the way to deal with this, to re-integrate the emotions that are now disintegrated/ dissociated.

When the brain shut down, it … locked away most of your fear and hurt, removing those from your awareness, but in so doing, the other emotions are locked away too. Re-integrating your emotions into your awareness in the context of competent therapy will move you from observant to a participant in life.

anita