Dear Nan:

If R-2 is and has been so dependent on you, he should have been NICE to you all these years of his dependency of you. This is why I don’t understand you feeling pity for him, pity and concern for him having to live without you (if you leave). I would understand the pity and concern if he was nice to the person he depends on, but not when he was dismissive, looking down at, and being so rude and crude with you.

I don’t understand this point. I thought at one point that it was fear of him that keeps you with him. Fear, pity, concern… can you explain it to me? I would like to understand what it is that keeps and has kept you with R-2 all these years.

R-1 told you he will go off the grid for you but when you got together last he cut the time with you short to go back to his family business as he was so close to divorce then (I thought)- only he is in the same place now that he was then…still not divorced. So why did he leave early then and how is that congruent with the sentiment of going off the grid so to be with you?

Also, all these months, did you see an attorney regarding your own considered divorce? I wonder because you are concerned about losing everything… how can you lose everything?

I am quite clueless at this point: “The Cliff to jump”- what is the destination to jump to: Is it R-1? Is it freedom from R-2? What is it???

anita