Dear Jeanne:

A relationship has to be a Win-Win proposition. You help your depressed friend- she wins; you “feel good when (you) help her”- that is the win for you. Continue for as long as it is a Win-Win. Since you work full time, if you visit her too often you will be hurting yourself and that will make it a Win (for her)-Lose (for you)- not a good idea. So visit her just as often and for as long as it works for you.

Of course, you have no right to demand or push other neighbors to visit her. There are social services affording disabled people home care, people to go to their homes and help them with tasks. As a matter of fact, in California there is such program that a person can have their chosen person (no certification required, it can be anybody) get paid for helping them with every day tasks. Your neighbor would qualify because of her amputation.

anita