Hi selkied,

Welp I just had this long reply typed out and then accidentally deleted it. Doh! Let’s see if I have the patience to try to recreate…

I don’t have much advice but definitely feel like we are in similar boats. I’m 32, also an only child, had few friends in high school and didn’t really make any in college. I have one close friend now that I met at a job I used to have but she also happens to be very busy. I feel like everyone around me has a thriving social life and I just…don’t. And I think this is where a lot of my discontent lies. In the comparing. And not even comparing facts, but comparing my perception of other people’s lives to my reality or my reality that I choose to see. Is this something you do? I know when I am aware that I’m doing a lot of comparing and am able to knock it off, it is much easier for me to be at peace with where I am and just recognize the beauty in my own life. I tried online dating and also found it exhausting and am really not keen to try it again so I am clinging to a relationship I’m not happy in because I just can’t see how I will ever meet someone else in real life! Fear…not good. I also thought about meetup as someone mentioned above but the initial anxiety of meeting lots of new people at once has been enough to deter me. Also thinking about joining a gym, doing some volunteering (not to meet people, but because it’s something I want to do and would make me feel good and less focused on myself) but I tend to get caught up in the day to day and it never happens. Have you thought about trying some volunteer work? I would specifically like to do something with the elderly, maybe just popping in for visits…not sure if these opportunities even exist lol. You mentioned you like reading – have you thought about going to a book discussion group at your local library? Check out their website and see what you can find! I also hear you about feeling like people you do connect with are busy with their own families and established friends, but I think if you express genuine interest and care about someone you like talking to, chances are they will feel the same. It might be up to you to put yourself out there – suggest getting a coffee/drink/hang out, whatever. Can you say explain more about feeling like you don’t really connect with anyone you work with? I feel the same sometimes but when I approach them with a more open and curious mind, I am usually able to find something to connect with them on. Is this something you can do? Interested to hear more from you, I really can relate!

Katie