Dear Kat,

It’s normal to feel this way – we all want connection, openess and to feel cared for. Sure we get that from our family but there is a different type we get from people of the opposite gender and our age group.

Congratulations to your sister on her marriage.

Questions to consider-

1. Do you actually want to get married like her?

2. Is it really so bad for a woman of 28 who has completed her education well and has a good career, strong family ties to not have a relationship or to be married? Is it so bad that she wants to decide for herself when the time is right for her to make such an important decision?

My thoughts –

1. People, including family will make such comments when the girl reaches a certain age and the sibling is getting married in certain societies. Don’t take their words so seriously.

2. Relationships take time and trust. You need to first be more comfortable with yourself than to date someone just because you are lonely. Your void is yours to fill. Be a friend to yourself first.

3. Our parents have seen a different kind of life than us and hence their preferences would be aligned that way. Your mothers opinion is more of a generation gap thing. Has she ever made you feel like she doesn’t care about you? Had she ever hurt you deliberately?

You are eventually going to settle down someday anyway and already have a good career going. It’s a perception thing girl, things change for the better. She loves you and this is her version of a better life, it doesn’t mean though that she doesn’t appreciate or understand how hard you have worked to be where you are.

4. Dating app guy didn’t work out, something better is waiting for you. He wasn’t that right for you anyway but someone out there is. Till then, get comfortable with yourself first. Find better ways to destress after work.

Regards,
Nina