Dear xoxoxo:

Thank you. And you are welcome. I agree with your decision to move on. A lot of women (and men) fall into this trap: a woman gets involved with a man who needs saving, so that he will be saved and then he will take care of the woman. You put it in your words: “I can save him from his life, and he can be there for me.”

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like it: this kind of saving requires the man saving himself. The woman can help but the work has to be the man’s.

I suppose when he shared with you very personal things on the second date, you thought he was opening up to you as his savior and that made you feel very special. But I am guessing he shared so soon because he was troubled, and that could have given you the information: this man is troubled; probably not a good pick for a healthy relationship.

Please do post again anytime as you endure the strong pull of emotional attachment and move on.

anita