Dear Luke:

So the problem is with the brother who is not doing his share, not even close.

And there is a problem with the girlfriend whose go-to “answer” to everything is that she is not good enough.

You wrote: ” As soon as a conversation seems to lead towards me being upset or not content, my girlfriend shuts me down with the “I’m not good enough” and essentially refuses to listen.”

It is a real problem that a boyfriend expresses his distress to his girlfriend and she refuses to listen. And her to-go-to statement “I’m not good enough” is problematic. Is she telling you something like: when you feel distressed it makes me feel that I am not good enough, it makes me feel bad, so don’t make me feel bad!

If she is telling you that, then she is not there for you if and whenever you feel distress.

If she continues to not listen to you then I would end the relationship if I was you.

anita