Dear ferion:

As to your last comment about you whining: significant anxiety (excessive, ongoing fear, usually since childhood) is not whining. It is real suffering and should not be minimized- not by your “support system” (not supportive if minimizing your difficulties) and not by you.

Fear is a powerful emotion and so, it needs to be addressed seriously. The skills I mentioned are such as meditation: moving meditation for the very anxious. It is also called Mindfulness. It is a way, over time, to move away from over thinking, being in your head most of the time- to relaxing in your whole body. For example, if you do slow yoga, or Tai Chi, you move deliberately, slowly, attentively (not automatically, rushing) and this slows down the over thinking brain.

Mindfulness is the skill where you pay attention to your level of anxiety and attend to it, for example by taking a fast walk which makes you feel better, or drinking hot tea. If you don’t pay attention, the anxiety keeps going and going.

There are ways to intervene, to interrupt the anxiety.

These skills (emotional regulation skills would be, I think, the professional term) will help you in which ever option you choose.

So you cannot look for a job during the six months if you sign a contract for those six months? In that case, like you wrote, you will be in the same situation then that you will be now. But maybe with more saved money? And there is the slight possibility of the economy improving by then?

Of course, the economy could be worse in six months.

By the way, you are very harsh on yourself, judging yourself negatively, calling yourself stupid and such. This just ads to your anxiety. It will help you a whole lot if you are gentle, patient and kind to yourself!

Is there anyone- in your family/ friends- who is gentle, patient and kind to you? I mean not by offering you food, but by really listening to you, letting you know you are valuable, that what you feel matters and is valid?

Will be back to the computer in a couple of hours. Hope to continue the discussion with you.

anita