Why is it so important that she remembers your birthday? Do you not feel loved? Love is not something that need always be proved, give it freely and get it freely.

I guess I am feeling that now she is an adult, that she would appreciate all that I do for her, and expected as least some comeback and a closer relationship.

What sort of relationship do you want with your daughter? Why are you waiting for her to start it? Call her, meet with her, talk with her, show you care for her. Get the relationship you want by actively pursuing it. Go places together, spend time together, don’t wait for it to happen, don’t grieve when she forgets or messes up. Forgive her, Be there for her whenever she needs you, spend time with her whenever you can, the costs don’t matter. Ignore all the rest, you are getting in your own way. The time the two of you get to spend together is priceless. If it’s costing you too much, find a less expensive way to spend time together, make her dinner at your home, go to a movie, on a hike, spend time at the beach, go for a walk in the park, etc. The possibilities are endless.

Relationships only deteriorate because we expect something in return. Only give as much as you are able, what comes without expectations attached to it. Give for the sake of giving, find joy in the good it brings.