Dear Sugarhut,

Monk is right. A friend of mine whom i greatly admire for her positive nature, independence and strong career success also was involved with a man who treated her badly for 2 years once the courtship period was over. He humiliated her and made her doubt her own capabilities as a human being. Her anxiety issues worsened and her self-esteem fell to zero over time. I was there as I saw her break down in public after they had such a big fight where he treated her like crap. I was shell shocked to see her like this.

Why is she letting this man treat her like shit? She said that it’s because she loves him and he did the same old “I will change” shit again and again but he was back to being mean in a few days, weeks only. Sure he had troubles in his own family but does that mean he treats her so badly like this?

Love isn’t enough to stay in a relationship – there needs to be respect, mutual understanding and trust between mature individuals.

The way your partner is behaving isn’t good and is plain emotional abuse. Think about your children – do you want them to grow up with a person like him around? Sure he isn’t their biological father but he is unreliable as a partner.

Big deal if he is nice sometimes. A few sweet gestures and pretty words don’t discount regular bad behavior.

Please, if not for your sake, think about the kids, the future a bit more. You need to be firm for them – they deserve better, you deserve better.

Stop listening to his excuses before he starts taking over your life.

Regards,
Nina