Dear sunrise244:

I do hope you successfully achieve your goal to “move on and find someone better in future, and leave this mess behind.”

When reading your account, I am repeating to myself (and sharing this with all who are reading this), how important it is to say the truth. It doesn’t need to be The Whole Truth- but when I say something as a fact, it needs to be true. As a matter of fact, my name, anita here, is indeed my legal first name and every detail I shared on the website is factually true.

You are obviously very hurt by being lied to, hurt by your trust in him (assuming what he told you at the time was true) having been betrayed.

There are ways- in your next relationship- to test the truthfulness of what your next boyfriend (or anyone) shares with you without contacting ex girlfriends. Contacting ex girlfriends can be very risky for a relationship that is ongoing. Except for certain circumstances, doing so is a betrayal of the man.

About the ways to test a person’s truthfulness- through ongoing conversations, asking questions (gently, not interrogatively), listening for the answers. Often, very often lies are very apparent if you only listen over time. Choosing who to associate with and in what context should depend on evaluating the person first: learning who it is you are considering associating with.

Hoping for healing and recovery for you. Post anytime.

anita