Hi Nina,

Thanks for replying 🙂 Im pretty sure these feelings are connected to experiences with my abusive ex, and also losing my daughter. I separated from my ex about 6yrs ago; i know everyone likes to think their ex was narcissistic or borderline but mine actually was at least one of those if not both. He took most of his joy in life from controlling and recieving praise from others and had no qualms about punishing people when they didnt want to play mind games, especially me. I did so much work for years to heal from that relationship, then my daughter died when I finally felt like I was moving on with my life.

Outside my hubby & close friends Im really just talking about trusting that people wont take advantage of me or leave me without help. But I get that so mixed up with peeople liking me or showing positive feelings. As soon as someone is displeased I feel like I have to watch my back and protect from them. Or I just feel no motivation to invest in having healthy work relationships. Whats the point if i cant trust anyone.