Dear kodi208:

Of course, if there was an easy solution: one with only positive consequences and no negative consequences, then you wouldn’t be struggling and the problem would have been solved. Whatever choice you make will have some negative consequences. The thing to do, I believe, is examine and evaluate the positives and negatives and then decide.

One negative consequence you fear is the added stress on your husband: things to examine and evaluate are: how does he deal with stress, so far? Did he express distress over the idea that you don’t work? Did you discuss this?

Another negative consequence you mentioned is letting the anxiety win. Well, the anxiety is not a person or entity, so it can’t win. How do you win? Not by pretending the anxiety is not there but by fully accepting it is, for as long as it is. Not judging yourself negatively for being anxious but being very gentle and patient with yourself. The anxiety is not something you chose, so you are not guilty for experiencing it.

And I agree that epiphany may not be realistic when you are anxious- it is when you are calm that the fog clears.

If you’d like, we can keep communicating about your situation.

anita