Dear sugarhut:

It feels good to you when he is charming and nice and you feel good looking at him because he is physically good looking. That feels good and this is what you miss, eventually when you leave him? That good feeling?

You already felt good and free when you left him, but the newness of that good feeling wore off, did it, and you remembered the good feelings you had when he was nice and charming?

If we put feelings aside for a moment, what about values:

How does the value of Freedom feels like? Freedom from abuse?

How about the value of Justice? Making things just, for example not paying for a car that was given to you as a gift? And how about not buying gifts to a man who is abusive to you? And how about LEAVING an abuser (that would be justice)?

Maybe you can focus on these values.

anita