Dear charlotteccnc:

Inky stated it perfectly (one of “The Best of Inky’s right there, above).

She feels comfortable with the arrangement she is interested in. She is interested in it because she feels comfortable in it. You don’t. So what do you do? Continue your discomfort so to accommodate her comfort? That would be a painful sacrifice on your part.

I don’t believe that you can … make yourself comfortable with the situation by removing the emotional discomfort through any rational re-configuration.

Do take care of yourself by ending the physical/ romantic relationship with Y (and any relationship whatsoever, if that is what it takes), and move on with the goal of meeting another person in your life who will be interested in only you, romantically and physically.

anita