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Dear Laure:
I read your last post attentively. I like your last clever line: “I am not entirely sure the roots of it but I can tell you where the trunk is.” Most of your post was indeed about the trunk: school experiences.
I understand what you wrote at the beginning of your post: “I am not entirely sure what happened as I was a child with my relationship with my parents”- that makes sense that you wouldn’t know what happened when you were a very young child.
Therefore I will ask: What was your relationship with your parents (any one or both) as an older child, during the time you were bullied in school? Did they know you were bullied… did you tell them… what did they do? Same questions in regard to your later years in school, when you had the friend who threatened suicide: did they know.. did you tell them, etc.?
anita