Dear Midnight:

You asked: “But could that really be the source of all of this? Could it really have been THAT bad…? ”

Yes, this could be it. Can you imagine?

And this is the point: yes, it could have been really THAT bad. When a child is scared, there is only so much fear that a child can endure before the brain/ body is facing damage. I call it the Overwhelm Factor. It is the brain/ body trying to naturally protect itself from damage: by minimizing the danger, by saying (not in words necessarily): This-is-not-THAT-bad.

And so, to this very day, it puzzles you: this couldn’t be it, it wasn’t THAT bad.

Looking back at your experiences with your brother, do you have memories devoid of feelings? Are your memories dry/ no feelings there?

anita