Thank you so much for your feedback, it truly means a lot.

Midnight – As much as I love fall, the last three years have been tough around this time. Three years ago I spent 5 days in a CSU, two years ago in an unhealthy relationship, last year was the end of that relationship in September. So truthfully just the ambiance of fall may be the trigger. I am trying my best to take care of my body, coffee is definitely my downfall and I’ve been trying to drink more decaf. I do also see a therapist and have for three years, though I have never been on medication for a long period of time. I have anxiety medication for panic attacks but nothing to manage the ongoing stuff.

Anita- – your response hit me hard. I see you have read another one of my threads, and for that i thank you for taking the time to understand a little more about me. This may be some of it as well, seeing as I have recently cut off close relations with her. I still work for her, but we do not interact. Honestly, it has been a little relieving.

I opened up a little to a friend of mine today and told her how I was feeling – she suggested the mindfulness may be doing some of this, because the lack of drama and excitement in my life is maybe being mistaken as loss? Maybe because I don’t know how to feel, and it’s been quite so time, if ever, I have felt this relaxed.