Anita
I am not comfortable with an open relationship as I don’t want to have sex/intimacy with someone else at the moment.
However I love her and want to be with her so her being in an open relationship with him is part of the new deal unfortunately.
My choice is to leave and be unhappy or try and see how I can manage my jealousy and loss of trust and reconnect with her and suffer a little with my ego and expectations. She is starting to understand the impacts on making selfish choices that people get hurt in real life not as some abstract idea.
I have decided to go along for the ride and see how it feels and how far she goes in exploring her relationship with him. Life with her is 95% good 5% uncomfortable/challenging because she loves and wants to be in a parallel relationship with him. If she lies/manipulates then I can leave knowing I tried my best to love her but she couldn’t respect our relationship anymore.

Thanks for the questions. I have pondered over them the last 5 days.