Dear lilyjane:

Well, your feelings are seeing some light of day right here and I think it is a good idea for you to express some of them here.

I am thinking a few things: if you accept it fully, that it is okay for you to feel whatever it is that you feel, and that there is a valid message in whatever it is that you feel, then you will peel off- from your in love feelings- the feeling of guilt and shame. Once you are left … only with the feeling of being in love, that will be a different experience, way less alarming and distressing.

Having mentioned the valid message, seems to me it is: you need love in your life, closeness, togetherness.

Regarding the potential future with the younger man, since you did visit the topic: I don’t think the age difference is necessarily a problem (and it won’t make you a cougar because, as I understand it, you are not in the habit of pursuing younger men). It is also not necessarily a big problem that he wants children, as he may change his mind or want to adopt. Just pointing these out.

You seem to be very concerned for your husband’s well being. Is your dedication to him fueled by your past religious beliefs about marriage? And/ or something else?

anita