Dear blkhwkdwn1:

Counseling/ competent psychotherapy is a very good idea for you, I strongly believe! A spiritual path can go hand in hand with psychotherapy- it is my therapist that got me into meditation and mindfulness!

Regarding the girl, the title of your thread: Let her go?

I am thinking you like her so much because she tried to help you when you needed help so desperately. People who needed help desperately and someone helps them or tries to, sometimes see that person as an angel. It is a powerful experience.

You can choose to tell her you lied to her and apologize for it. She will probably understand. I would, if I was her. You can call her and ask to meet with her and talk. You can ask her any question you have in mind.
You can even ask her if her friendship was for the exclusive purpose of helping you temporarily, just to get you over a serious crisis.

You can check with her, if you can handle such a conversation or a few conversations. If it stresses you too much, you can choose to let her go.

I wish you do what is best for you, that your well being is and will be your highest priority.

Post again anytime. Will be back at the computer in ten hours or so. Take good care of yourself.

anita