Dear LBNL:

As to your last line: “I just hope this feeling… eventually goes away with time..” It is my experience that nothing much goes away with time except life itself. The feeling of anxiety I experienced 20 minutes ago, today, at 55 is the same feeling I experienced at 5. The past, how we felt then, is imprinted in our brain and we keep feeling much of the same ways as then.

Healing is key, healing through time. And yes, no way to rush it and no intellectual understanding will take the necessary requirement of the work that needs to be done over time.

To know something is true and real you have to feel it- this makes an emotional knowing, a deep knowing. You wrote: ” I’m always seeing something wrong that needs to be improved. I look for flaws. I tend to forget what a huge accomplishment my weight loss was, how much work I put into it… It’s just so hard to actually do that.”-

Your focus on what is wrong, your flaws is based on a core belief that indeed, there is something significantly flawed about you, isn’t it? So even though you intellectually know you lost 100 lbs, and that is a good thing, you still believe- just like before- that there is something significantly flawed about you. The weight changed, but not the core belief.

How can you emotionally know, that you are not flawed (aside from being imperfect, which is what every single human being is: imperfect)?

I was going to attempt and answer my own question. Maybe you would like to?

anita