Dear None:

I understood part of your example.

First I want to comment about what you wrote about your family: ” either they are changing the topic when I got the courage to lead that conversation or they just are not listening to me and when I get insistent they start a fight or leave the room.”

From your description above, your family members (the ones you are referring to here) are not interested in listening to you, do not support you or help you and instead, they turn against you and fight or leave you alone, abandon you when you need them.

I wonder if you are living with these rejecting, non-supportive family members who fight you instead of help you?

As to your example, the part that I did understand: you wrote about the friend:: “he/she is acting like the friends everybody dreams of, cares for you, wants to be with you and listen to you” – so far all the things your family members do not do. No wonder these mean a lot to you!

So that friend talks badly about people he/ she knew in the past but you don’t know. And he talks badly about your friends behind their back, to you, but not to them personally.

Your friend may be communicating to people only the positive feelings in their presence, keeping his negative feelings for them hidden. Then outside their presence he expresses his negative feelings. If this is his pattern, then he may be having the positive feelings for you but he is also having negative feelings for you. He won’t express them to you. But probably to others, outside your presence.

I didn’t understand the part about you obeying your friend…?

anita