I struggled with the same type of individual: my ex. He would verbally abuse me and then shift all the blame on me for not understanding what I did to make him upset in the first place. He was never willing to acknowledge his complete overreaction and tantrums. I felt SO defeated as a person and my already low self esteem plummeted even lower. So I TOTALLY understand your issue. This was a CONSTANT issue between us and I stayed with him for 4 years. Oh the torture!!
But I just wanted to share that with you and let you know that you have to understand your own worth first. I have always struggled with feeling that I was a pushover and I felt like people always took advantage of it.
You were NOT too harsh. You let him know exactly how you felt without being disrespectful and you have every right to do that. If he refuses to understand and to continue to be nonchalant, maybe you need to remove that type of energy from your life. You seem like a wonderful person with a loving and kind soul. Best of luck to you in this situation!
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 