Thank you for the perspective. That is really helpful. I made that comment in reference to a book — which he had lent me, called Anger, by Thich Nhat Hanh. He was telling me how it had helped him overcome some anger issues (though I truly think he needs to re-read it!) I was telling him I do not want to take his abuse, caused by his anger/suffering, and then suffer because of him…
In that book, it speaks of anger as a manifestation of suffering and it can be a tendency to wish to make others suffer. But you are right. In his release of his anger, he was relieving all his suffering — at me. That is a great perspective on why asserting my boundaries FIRMLY is important to those who wish to use me to abuse me. He was fine. I was the one left suffering.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 