Dear mapnerd:

You wrote about your ex boyfriend (and congratulations for making him an “ex”): “It seems like he’ll never really feel the brunt of his actions or behavior.”

His behavior, which he and his family/ friends suggested was your fault, is way more likely to be a result of his parents actions and behavior during his childhood, those Formative Years (referred so because the brain is forming then).

He is most likely carrying the brunt of his parents’ behavior.

And so he has been suffering, unfortunately for a long time, way before he met you, and will continue to suffer, most likely. Neither you nor his friends were helpful.

Those injuries done in childhood- those do not go away because time passes. Intentional ongoing healing has to take place, over time. The one orchestrating the healing has to be the injured party.

Hope you do feel better soon. Post anytime.

anita