Hey Kangli,

First off, it may sound like you made mistakes but that’s okay. You’re a human being. You’re supposed to be making mistakes in life. That’s how we grow as evolving individuals. I’m personally not a mother, and I’ve never been married, but it’s crucial that you’re honest with the people you interact with in your life. The reality is, love isn’t supposed to be rational. At the end of a day, it’s a complex emotion. Remind yourself of what makes you a great person, and what a healthy relationship is, and I promise you, you will be able to find someone that embraces all of your perceived flaws. There’s a link here too in case you’re confused about what has happened to you.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-what-an-emotional-affair-is-and-what-it-isnt_us_55de27cce4b08dc0948652d5