Dear Anita,
My ex-spouse was a friend of mine for years in uni. We were each other ‘s first girl/boy friend. I did enjoy spending time with him and we eventually got married because we thought it was the right time and logical thing to do as we weren’t seeing anyone. It was a safe and secure relationship . We were good for few years. I didn’t desire intimacy but I just put it down as normal for me. Until we had the kid, I suffered from pnd and saw a psychiatrist ever since . Through the sessions, I then realised that I wasn’t happy in the marriage and I didn’t “love” him the way he wanted ( he wanted it to be wild and passionate ) . My ex spouse wasn’t in the same emotional levels as me. He couldn’t understand why I was depressed. In addition, he didn’t take effort in caring for us…. The lack of intimacy drove him even further . I didn’t want to stay in the marriage because all we did was fight and I didn’t want my daughter to see that.

I told him I want to be separated for awhile and he couldn’t get it …

Then I started getting closer to my friend. We were always good friends in the past, we studies together, we shared lotsa of same interest and we have similar values .. We started to confide to each other our own problems then slowly we started to connect even more….

I have no regret leaving my spouse because I finally realised that it was a mistake that we married and he deserves to find someone who can love him the way he wanted . I m slowly picking up my path but I am just stuck at ” moving on ” from my ex lover . I don’t have anymore desire to be with him anymore because that is the wrong thing. But I just love him so much … Not only I lost him as my love, I lost him as a friend ….