Dear confuseddd:

The main issue as I see it is that you are not interested or prepared to a lifetime commitment to your boyfriend and he is. You feel guilty for not feeling the interest and commitment that he is feeling.

If you were interested and prepared to a lifetime commitment with your boyfriend, then the core values would be a significant issue but not a deal breaker. You and him could talk about the specifics of a life together and figure out those things before making a commitment. You can talk about different scenarios- choosing a job for money vs interest, how to spend an X amount of money as a couple.

But you are not there, still have crushes on other guys- meaning you are not prepared to settle with your boyfriend, so these talks are premature, I am thinking.

I hope you talk to him soon, tell him about your guilt, explore- while talking with him- how you feel and continue talking over time. Talking honestly will achieve two goals: relief of guilt and getting further clarity about your feelings and the nature of the relationship through a series of talks, over time.

anita