Dear Cheryl:

You wrote: “My anxiety is really high and I have really bad bouts of depression” and you asked for any tips on how to get through this.

First: minimize contact with him, have no physical intimacy with him whatsoever.

Second: focus all your energy on doing the practical things that need to be done, parenting responsibilities and selling the house. Focus on just the thing that needs to be done next and do it. Congratulate yourself for it. Then look ahead and do just the next thing-to-do and so forth.

Third: you were anxious when in relationship with the guy, so it is the same anxiety. There is work to be done on that, from gaining insight into its origin to learning and practicing skills to regulate your emotions and endure them while functioning well anyway (psychotherapy with a competent therapist will help with these two things).

anita