Dear ajack379:

If I was you, believing my own interpretation of your situation (as I expressed so far), I probably would not get back together with her, actually, I know that I will not. This is because like any living-thing, any organism, I avoid pain, turn away from it. I too will chose calm over distress. And you don’t have an obligation to her to experience distress. Your obligation to her is to be honest about your feelings and needs and her obligation to you is to respect those.

What I am suggesting is that if you do want in the future to live with another person, if that is your desire, then do attend psychotherapy again; or if you want otherwise to heal from the anxiety and self loathing you mentioned, additional therapy with a competent, hard working professional will help.

anita