I can relate to a lot of what you say arguseyed.
I have change jobs and careers countless times. And I will always find something wrong with the job I am doing right now. My job currently doesn’t pay much. it is a concern as I approach retirement. But it is job that very much suits my temperament. In other words there are a lot of boxes ticked and only a few negatives. The question is, how important are the negatives? I’ll need more cash to get my car serviced soon. What shall I do? And so problems persist. My conclusion is, there is no perfect job. And the jobs that pay well, you are usually paying the price. Like the stress you are going through. I used to get stressed out as a teacher.Money and hols were great but my anxiety levels were through the roof. I’m too old for that **** anymore! 🙂
I never had any kids. I wonder for some people, if they have kids, they put up with any crap to feed and shelter their family. It gives them a purpose to put up with the stress at work. So if you have a rich and rewarding private life, it gives you some relief from the pressures of work. Life makes more sense. For me, I need to enjoy my work because that is where a lot of my life meaning resides. Not all, but I think you know what I mean.
I might be the only one recommending getting really drunk just once, so you can stop worrying about your work. Alcohol short term can help. Long term is a big no no.