I read your post several hours ago, and didn’t find anything else to add to what you have written.

Then I heard this song that randomly came to me on the internet, from a performer I like and used to listen a lot, and thought about your post.
While listening to the song, I thought, if I see beyond the subjectivity of my own life, history, life battles and point of view, I see so many people wanting the same thing as I: just for once stop identifying myself with my stories and how I got where I am now, stop being judged (and judging myself) for the mistakes I’ve made on this human plane. Ok they are solvable, nothing is so fatally wrong beyond repair in our lives, except death.
It was 3 years ago when I listened to this musician, and back then I felt life was really hard on me, I was surrounded by enemies thinking and talking bad things about me, mostly untrue, but true from their level of understanding, judging me, trying to push me from the edge of the abyss, and without the firm ground of supporting family under my feet. I felt like I was climbing this mountain during a storm, alone, not knowing where I would end up and if anything or anyone was waiting for me on the other side of the storm. Never stopping the ongoing process of remorse and trying to find the true line for every single situation in my life, of where I was wrong or where the other wronged me. And in real life, I don’t like mountains much. And at the same time, this was the best year of my life. The only way to survive my everyday ongoing hell, was to have and outside “spiritual” identity. I identified with everything that was opposite to my hostile surroundings, and also with what I aspired. I had this secret life where I was not “the sister of” or “the daughter of” or “the employee at” or “the girl from that city”, I was no one and yet my truest self.
So many people want to get out of this vicious circle of Karma, identify with something beyond what actions they have done in the past which resulted in their present lives, I mean, are we really that? The result of our past actions, good or bad? Are we also our new selves for fixing our past mistakes or our personal biases?
I am hypnotized by this sound right now:
https://youtu.be/l1SZjOS0_PQ Hammock – Like A Viley With No Echo