Eliza,

I believe you will definitely find someone great to experience love with. I was laughing at the thought of you yelling FAkE! at the TV!!!
It’s a bit weird, I felt like this might have been written by a 21 yr old me, I even played college soccer out here. Yet I am a man. I have also held interested women to very high standards, that made it difficult/pointless for me to continue relationships. Apart from expecting love to mean more than just hooking up (I agree with you), please could you write back about any other high standards are you referring to?

I found that when I was holding these women to high standards, I was really holding great women to MY standards, which they didn’t even know yet! What if finding love is a process of two people finding out each other’s likes and dislikes and viewpoints and then each deciding to love the other person where they are, the way they like to be loved As opposed to finding someone who by divine providence already checks all the right boxes and meets all the right standards from the beginning just by their own nature? I honestly don’t know. I thought about that question just now writing this.
It seems that we all have expectations of people, without ever giving them a clue what those expectations are.
I’m not saying to drop your high standards, but maybe it could help to talk to potential partners about those standards, in a kind way.

I also feel when we put high standards on others, there is a slight danger of thinking that we are perfect/ near perfect when it comes to love and self knowledge and others need to improve a bit to get to our level.
I’m a bit worried by your statement, ” After a few years of soul searching and complete spiritual success, I’ve begun to feel a sudden urge to find a partner.”
Could you please explain that a bit more? I might be reading that wrong somehow. Are you saying that you reached spiritual success at age 21 and so are now looking for a partner? I’m not saying that your spiritual success at 21 is not possible.
But I do think that feeling that you are at a point of spiritual success could possibly render you incompatible with any man. I could be wrong on that statement but I don’t want that for you.
We are all imperfect humans trying to improve.

I have so much to learn too, still searching myself…
All the best, much love –