Dear growthspurts:

I was frustrated, like you, many, many times before, bewildered as to why I was back to being anxious and distressed after I … thought I figured it all out and settled things; thought I was good “from now on and forever more”

I no longer get frustrated even though I do get anxious again, even this very evening. Only ten seconds ago I felt a split second of distress. I expect this. I now understand.

I understand the healing process takes what I call Excruciating Patience, a whole lot of patience with myself and with the process. We have so many neuropathway that get triggered during the day and in new situations. When we weaken a core belief, we weaken, let’s say, ten pathways, but there are a hundred more pathways that have to do with that one core belief, and those are connected to three hundred triggers (I am making up the numbers, of course).

This re-wiring of the brain takes a whole lot of time. You have to be patience and gentle with yourself. I don’t even know if I will ever, in my lifetime, get to a place where I do not get anxious daily. I don’t know if I will live long enough for that much of brain re-wiring.

Am I making sense to you?

anita