Dear Jess:

Well, I feel empathy for you because I know fear and how powerful it is. If you explain this to your more recent boyfriend, he may feel empathy for you too.

If you explain this to him, and he is willing to help you with your abandonment anxiety; if you and him communicate about it regularly, then it can be a good, healthy relationship. I am sure he has his own anxieties, issues, challenges. And so you can help each other.

So potentially, it may work. I think in its core, this is not an issue of lack of character on your part, hiding each from another, but a matter of fear.

If you bring your issue to the light with him (opposite of hiding!) and ask for his help, and if he does help you and you express appreciation for his attention and help, that can give him a very good feeling, of being helpful, of making a difference (to you).

anita