Dear xenia4:

Your angry state indicates a change has to be made. Reads to me like this relationship needs to end. What else will calm that “pot that boils over”? Better not take tranquilizers or over drink alcohol so to achieve that!

That would mean losing the evenings on-call job.

You wrote that he doesn’t come across anxious, but easy going. I am guessing he is able to feel calm BECAUSE of his lifestyle. We have no greater motivation to not be anxious, so him achieving relative calm by his lifestyle means to me that there is no way whatsoever that he will change his lifestyle. It works for him.

His lifestyle works for him but it doesn’t work for you.

anita