Dear marie:

I read all your posts in the three threads you started here. If you re-read your posts in the August thread, here on record, that may help you figure things out, if you are still confused.

I figure you still live in Australia and the trip to visit your friends and family is in NZ. As I read your previous posts, it became clear to me that this relationship is hopeless. He is in the habit of attacking you when you say something he doesn’t like, blaming you for trying to control him, to change him. He is also in the habit of smoking weed- is he not- which is not helpful to him. If you say Anything about him looking high or anything related to weed, he attacks you. Then you cry. Later he apologizes and the cycle continue.

The cycle is predictable, you can count on it; it never failed you before, did it? So it is very reasonable to expect this cycle to continue during the NZ visit, if you have him with you. He also screamed at you in front of friends before- so you can count on it being very possible in NZ.

Having with him in NZ is not a good plan; neither is continuing a relationship with him.

Have a good trip, alone, I hope. Do post again no matter your choice.

anita